I wouldn't describe myself as funny. I don't think anybody would. I can be funny, but FUNNY is not the first adjective you think of when you think of me. Short, loud, assertive - maybe even cute - but not funny. I don't think if you asked Ed why he fell in love with me that he'd say, "She makes me laugh" or "She's funny." I don't know if anyone would say I make them laugh - except maybe Cindy.
I know funny women and I am not one of them. I am glad to personally know funny women. Erin Kane: she's funny. Everyone thinks she's funny. My parents think she's funny. My college friends think she's funny. She's an incredible storyteller and it's why she's a great writer. Even an e-mail from Erin is funny.
Jackie-Jack is funny. She's always made me laugh. Whether we're on the phone or in person she gives me steady giggles. Colleen makes me laugh. Her take on life, love and the pursuit of happiness inspire and tickle my funny bone. Conversations with Cousin Adrienne leave my face hurting because I've smiled and laughed the whole time. Cindy: she makes me sweat and my mascara run. That girl is funny! These are the funniest women I know. And y'all know I love Ellen Degeneres!
I feel like I "know" this about myself. So it struck me odd one Friday night when over dinner with Ed I mentioned a text-volley I had with my very funny friend, Cindy. I didn't get into the whole back and forth, but I mentioned that in the text I had to explain myself to her, and I finished the text with "This is why Ed doesn't think I'm funny!" I was still giggling about the texts when he looked at me and asked, "Is that what you tell people about me? That I don't think you're funny?" I was taken aback. Our conversation was about a text-volley that almost had me running to the bathroom. (It sucks to get old, but that's a subject for another time.) I had had a good laugh with a friend and wanted to share a little bit of it. It seemed even funnier to me because my attempt at funny had to be explained to her. I thought that was funny. He proved my point because he got up and left the table and never came back. Later I found him asleep on top of the covers, still in his suit pants. I'm not sure if I hurt his feelings or if he was just embarrassed that I would reveal his "secret" to a friend. He told me he was just exhausted. I don't think my husband thought I was being funny. I just exhaust him.
I do crack myself up sometimes with my own train of thought. I find humor in places it shouldn't be and puns keep me giggling long after the moment is over. I get that from my parents. My dad and mom are the king and queen of puns. And they will do what they can not to outdo each other, but to keep it going. Their back and forth is more about joining each other in a not-so-alone-or-intimate exchange that keeps them completely alone and gives them intimacy. In the middle of a room with family and friends they will quip and quote, play on their words and innuendo themselves into laughter and snickers. Around them we are an audience, visitors to watch the match in session, fans of the game. And they usually end in a draw. With smiles, they are both the victor. Again, it's not about outdoing, but about playing together nicely. It's what people do who have been married for 45 years.
I may not be the character or the card that other people are, but somehow I do offer humor to those around me, ironically mostly to my husband. Because he knows me the best. Because he lives with me. Because he sees, hears, witnesses, and lives with my quirks every day. As much as I have to explain my own jokes to people, he gets a kick out of watching me sort through life and the jokes around me until I've gotten it. That makes him laugh. He is one of the funnies people I know with a quick wit and a sharp tongue. Like "The Family Guy" and David Chappelle, no one and no subject are off limits to him. That includes his wife. I think if I admit to anymore misunderstood song lyrics from our childhood he'll have an "accident." (Now that would be funny.)
Ed spends as much time poking fun at me as he does laughing at what is me. And I love that he includes me in that part of life that is so him. He is a gentleman: kind and chivalrous. He is both family provider and protector. He is smart - smarter than I am, despite his mantra: "You didn't marry a smart man." Oh, but I did. Street smart, people wise, and an unmatched political and economical sense - these are traits of Ed. Yet, I smile to think about the beginning. Because I did fall in love with him because he is funny. He does make me laugh.
I will continue to make jokes that need to be explained. I will continue to follow in my parents' footsteps en route to the best puns, travelling a road paved lightly with sarcasm. And at the end, my husband just might think I'm a little bit funny.
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