Take Back the Flag

I shared a sentiment with my husband, Ed, from our 16 year old, very socially conscious daughter. She came to me one day before the 2020 election and said, “I know it’s horrible of me to say this, but when I see the American flag I can’t help but think that the person waving it is a Trump supporter and probably racist. It doesn’t matter if it’s a flag hung outside someone’s house, or if it’s a bumper sticker on their car. It makes me think they are probably right-wing extremists.”

That’s a pretty strong, judgmental assessment from a person who isn’t old enough to drink alcohol legally, or vote in an election, and who still doesn’t have her driver’s license. Yet, as we stood there discussing it, I couldn’t fault her for her way of thinking. I had to admit to her that I also have that same sinking feeling when I see someone waving a flag and it isn’t Memorial Day, the Fourth of July, or Veterans’ Day. Somewhere along the way, the American flag became synonymous with extremism, racism, intolerance, and inevitably - violence.

So why has the flag become such a sore spot for so many Americans? Is it because Colin Kaepernick took a knee during the National Anthem to exert his right to peacefully protest over police brutality and racial inequality in the United States? Is it because loyal Trump supporters drove through town with large flags waving in the breeze on the backs of their pick-up trucks? Or is because the flag - altered into various shades of blue without the red and white - was used with the slogan “Back the Blue,’ for a movement in direct opposition to the Black Lives Matter movement?

It is all of these things and so much more. It is in the everyday analysis of life, as we see more Republicans than Democrats, more right than left, more white than black, more southern than north-eastern, more conservative than liberal, waving the flag and calling for justice. But the justice they call for is largely for themselves, and not the larger communities around them that help make us this melting pot of a country that we call The United States of America. That isn’t to mean that all white, conservative Republicans won’t fight for their alternative neighbor, or that they wish ill upon them. Nor does it assume that those people are ignorant, close-minded or racist. Yet, unfortunately experience has shown us that a large majority of out-spoken people that fall into these “more” categories are people that are willing to wave the flag in the name of keeping things the same, ignoring the problems of today, trying to keep immigrants out and they help to enforce the hand of the police because the police aren’t killing their people at the same rate as they are killing minorities.

It would be easy to think that when we see a flag that it is in the hands of someone that doesn’t understand the struggle of underrepresented people. It would be easy to believe that it is being heralded for the glory of violence to retain control and oppressive acts, laws and guidance. It would be simple for many to assume that a flag being flown outside of someone’s house, or posted on their truck, is in support of tyrannical leaders and up-rising individuals. It would be wrong to do so.

I told Ed what Miranda said, and that I found myself not only agreeing with her, but sadly recognizing the fear it instills in me when I see someone proudly displaying a flag. His response was profound and inspiring. He simply said, “The flag is for all of us. Don’t let them take it away from you. It doesn’t stand for those things. Remind people what the flag is really all about. Make it yours, too.”

His comment reminded me how proud I was in the third grade to be selected to read my Flag Day paper at the all-school assembly. I thought about the fact that I stand during the National Anthem. Even in my own house, if I hear the song played during a football game, I stand. I respect Colin’s right to kneel, yet I am adamant about standing myself. Every time I was in my children’s elementary school during the morning announcements, I stopped and recited the Pledge of Allegiance. For years, I kept a tiny plastic flag in a wicker basket on the counter in my kitchen. I am a flag waver in my own way.

So I’m taking back the flag. I’m taking it back for myself and for Miranda and for anyone else that feels its symbolism has been weaponized against them. I’m taking it back to stand with my friends down the street that are neither Trump fans nor right-wing extremists, and definitely not racist, yet they proudly have a flag in front of their house. I’m taking back the flag for freedom of speech, justice, and unity. I’m taking back the flag and taking a stand because the flag is for all Americans.