Tuesday, March 9, 2021

Are You in the Choir?

 It’s a very simple question:  who really listens when we speak up?

Is it the white guy in your neighborhood who calls all black men he meets “Brother” and attempts to shake hands with a hand-clasp while he leans in for the shoulder bump? Is it the woman that followed my teenage girls around American Eagle, pretending to fold clothes after everything my daughters touched, or didn’t touch at all? Is it my husband’s former boss who refused to give him an advance during a very difficult financial year, but gave an advance seven out of twelve months in the same year to the white salesman in the company that was the #2 to my husband’s #1 status? Or is it the husband and wife who don’t have any close black friends, in fact nearly no black friends at all, that showed up to the Black Lives Matter rally held in my town?

I’d like to believe that all of them are listening. I’d like to tell myself that the more we speak up, the more people will take notice. I want to believe that the people that are in need of the eye-opening information are the ones pricking up their ears, pausing as if E.F. Hutton were about to speak, and taking note of the necessary information to rid themselves of stereotypes and assumed beliefs. My heart wants to believe that they will recognize themselves in the ignorance they see on television, stop to question it, and make a concerted effort to change.

Unfortunately, I am either too cynical or too much of a realist to believe any of that. I believe that the people who are listening are the ones that have the “least” to learn. The people that are taking notes, questioning themselves and those around them, and putting themselves in vulnerable places to have to admit their own ignorance publicly, are more than likely to be the people who already have spent time learning about other cultures and races and trying to live a life of tolerance, acceptance and less judgement.

This doesn’t meant that these people don’t have anything to learn. Most of them do. Their hearts may already be in the right place, but their experiences leave them neglectful of the certainty upon which to take a stand and be heard alongside of us. They aren’t ignorant in the negative sense of the word, they just don’t know.

They don’t know what is offensive. They don’t know what micro-aggressions are. They don’t know what it feels like to be afraid in a group of your peers simply because your skin color is different. They don’t know the challenges of biting your lip in certain circumstances and knowing when it is time to speak up. They don’t know about being on the receiving end of hatred and disgust. They just don’t know.

So we welcome them to our fights. We applaud them for standing up. We thank them for cheering us on. We compliment them for their honesty. We encourage them to not sit back down. We pray that they will bring more like-minded enforcements.

Like any process, the dialogue of change that develops into actions of dissection, examination, possible destruction and the reconstruction of something better, takes time, effort and patience. It also takes people willing to be a part of that process. That means people willing to do the preaching and people willing to sit in the congregation and be healed. There are plenty of us willing to stand up and be heard. There are also plenty of people willing to walk in the door, take a seat and be show the light. It can happen in one day, or it may take several. Some people will walk back out the door and never come back. Most will come back, hoping to find a greater understanding and more answers to the many questions that arose from the first time they sat down. It’s okay if you don’t get it the first time. It’s okay if it doesn’t feel “natural.” It’s okay if it feels hard and vulnerable. All good change requires moments of uncomfortableness when the mind and body are getting used to something different. The key is to not give up. The power is in believing…

Believe that the world can be a better place for everyone.

Believe that all people are created equal.

Believe that we are stronger together than divided.

Believe that our racial and ethnic differences add more beauty to this world than any one race or culture could produce on its own.

Believe that we are all brothers and sisters and each of us deserves the support of that human family to not only survive, but to thrive.

If you have stepped inside, please take a seat. And thank you for coming. If you have already declared yourself as a member, congratulations for returning, and not giving up. If you aren’t sure what to say or do, don’t worry. We will guide you.

A church is a very quiet place without its choir. We need you.

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