It’s a very simple question: who really listens when we speak up?
Is it the white guy in your neighborhood who calls all
black men he meets “Brother” and attempts to shake hands with a hand-clasp
while he leans in for the shoulder bump? Is it the woman that followed my teenage
girls around American Eagle, pretending to fold clothes after everything my
daughters touched, or didn’t touch at all? Is it my husband’s former boss who
refused to give him an advance during a very difficult financial year, but gave
an advance seven out of twelve months in the same year to the white salesman in
the company that was the #2 to my husband’s #1 status? Or is it the husband and
wife who don’t have any close black friends, in fact nearly no black friends at
all, that showed up to the Black Lives Matter rally held in my town?
I’d like to believe that all of them are listening.
I’d like to tell myself that the more we speak up, the more people will take
notice. I want to believe that the people that are in need of the eye-opening
information are the ones pricking up their ears, pausing as if E.F. Hutton were
about to speak, and taking note of the necessary information to rid themselves
of stereotypes and assumed beliefs. My heart wants to believe that they will recognize
themselves in the ignorance they see on television, stop to question it, and
make a concerted effort to change.
Unfortunately, I am either too cynical or too much of
a realist to believe any of that. I believe that the people who are listening
are the ones that have the “least” to learn. The people that are taking notes,
questioning themselves and those around them, and putting themselves in vulnerable
places to have to admit their own ignorance publicly, are more than likely to
be the people who already have spent time learning about other cultures and
races and trying to live a life of tolerance, acceptance and less judgement.
This doesn’t meant that these people don’t have
anything to learn. Most of them do. Their hearts may already be in the right place,
but their experiences leave them neglectful of the certainty upon which to take
a stand and be heard alongside of us. They aren’t ignorant in the negative
sense of the word, they just don’t know.
They don’t know what is offensive. They don’t know what
micro-aggressions are. They don’t know what it feels like to be afraid in a
group of your peers simply because your skin color is different. They don’t
know the challenges of biting your lip in certain circumstances and knowing
when it is time to speak up. They don’t know about being on the receiving end
of hatred and disgust. They just don’t know.
So we welcome them to our fights. We applaud them for
standing up. We thank them for cheering us on. We compliment them for their
honesty. We encourage them to not sit back down. We pray that they will bring
more like-minded enforcements.
Like any process, the dialogue of change that develops
into actions of dissection, examination, possible destruction and the
reconstruction of something better, takes time, effort and patience. It also
takes people willing to be a part of that process. That means people willing to
do the preaching and people willing to sit in the congregation and be healed.
There are plenty of us willing to stand up and be heard. There are also plenty
of people willing to walk in the door, take a seat and be show the light. It
can happen in one day, or it may take several. Some people will walk back out
the door and never come back. Most will come back, hoping to find a greater
understanding and more answers to the many questions that arose from the first
time they sat down. It’s okay if you don’t get it the first time. It’s okay if
it doesn’t feel “natural.” It’s okay if it feels hard and vulnerable. All good
change requires moments of uncomfortableness when the mind and body are getting
used to something different. The key is to not give up. The power is in believing…
Believe that the world can be a better place for everyone.
Believe that all people are created equal.
Believe that we are stronger together than divided.
Believe that our racial and ethnic differences add
more beauty to this world than any one race or culture could produce on its
own.
Believe that we are all brothers and sisters and each of us deserves the support of
that human family to not only survive, but to thrive.
If you have stepped inside, please take a seat. And
thank you for coming. If you have already declared yourself as a member,
congratulations for returning, and not giving up. If you aren’t sure what to
say or do, don’t worry. We will guide you.
A church is a very quiet place without its choir. We
need you.
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